I'm glad yesterday is over

Good Thursday morning,

Thank you all for your prayers yesterday. It truly was a very difficult day. When I got to LifeCare daddy told me he was going home so he didn't have to look at those 4 walls any longer. I suggested it would be no different at home and he responded that he would be able to move from room to room there, that he would get himself in a wheelchair. So I laid his bed flat, he would be in his own bed at home which doesn't adjust, and asked him to sit up and swing his legs over the side of the bed. Well, I don't think I have to tell you how that went. And it was down hill from there. He refused to do or listen to anything any of us had to say. And he said I had just enough medical knowledge that made me difficult to deal with and wanted Barbara to make me leave.

Cindy, Barbara and I then began to discuss what our options might be in getting daddy home and caring for him. Thanks to my best friend Teri, the hospice nurse, I had great information about what was available in that arena. Unfortunately that info was not accepted as Barbara believed Hospice was only for people dying. She did not want to hear what I had to say and daddy was making fun of my talking. I stopped talking, picked up all my belonging and left. I felt like they did not want my help so I was headed back to my moms to pack up my stuff and go back to GA. Barbara found me in the bathroom and we talked. I told her daddy did not hurt my feelings, she did. She did not want to hear what I had to say so they could make the decisions and handle it on their own. She asked me to please not return to GA. But I had to get out of there. I went to get a bite to eat and think. Talking to Wayne helped and my next stop was to be the beach for some walking and talking with God. But before I could head that way Barbara called and asked me to come back. She had arranged a meeting with the social worker and wanted me to talk to her about Hospice. So back I went. Barbara and I talked, cried, apologized, and went on.

Our meeting with the social worker went great. Many options were discussed. We decided, as a family, that it was best for daddy to stay where he is. We do understand that he may never get any stronger but we won't know until he tries. The nurses told him the way it was going to be. He was not happy but nothing he could do about it. He is calling us all "traitors" because we won't do what he wants. Barbara has told him she is not going to go see him unless he does his therapy. Once I left his room yesterday I said I was not going back in there for a few days. It's time for the tough love. We have been thru and listed to everything he's had to say. But it's time for him to participate in this healing and going home process. Without his cooperation he will never get back to where he was just 2 short months ago.

Please pray for:

- The wonderful staff at LifeCare

- Daddy to be a willing participant in this process

- Wisdom for the doc to pick the right drug to help with his depression

- Respite for the family

- Rest/sleep/peace of mind for daddy

Now Cindy and I are off to the beach for some walking and talking with God.

Praising God through this storm.